An Australian sexuality educator has ignited a fierce online controversy by recommending that parents obtain a baby’s agreement prior to swapping out a soiled diaper.
Deanne Carson contends that fostering a “culture of consent” should begin right from infancy, prompting a mix of bewilderment and amusement among internet users—one commenter quipped whether this extends to seeking approval from your cat before refreshing its litter box.
In an era of rapidly shifting parenting norms, discussions around consent are infiltrating even the most routine tasks, such as diaper swaps.
Soliciting a baby’s okay before tackling a messy diaper may seem absurd, particularly since newborns and young infants can’t vocalize their thoughts.
Yet Carson maintains that the point isn’t a spoken reply but rather instilling early lessons in bodily respect and personal boundaries.
Carson, who labels herself a “sexuality educator, speaker, and author” on Twitter, insists that consent education must commence at birth.
She elaborates that the approach highlights reverence for the child’s physical self and independence. Parents can verbalize their intentions—”I’m about to change your diaper, alright?”—then pause to gauge nonverbal signals, helping even the youngest learn about their own agency.
Fostering Trust and Dialogue
This advocate posits that the habit doesn’t hinge on hearing a clear “yes,” but on nurturing mutual exchange between caregiver and infant.
“Naturally, no baby will chirp back, ‘Sure, Mom, that sounds great—let’s do the diaper change,'” Carson noted during an ABC Australia interview. “However, by creating a pause, observing nonverbal cues, and holding eye contact, you’re signaling to the child that their reactions hold weight.”
Child health specialists and infant development pros frequently stress tuning into a baby’s unspoken signals—such as gurgles, laughs, or gestures—as key to solid interaction. Weaving consent into diaper routines complements this by subtly alerting babies to ongoing events and drawing them into the moment.
Critics, though, dismiss the notion as unfeasible or superfluous, pointing out that babies are simply too immature to grasp consent.
Rowan Dean, editor at The Spectator Australia, branded the suggestion “lefty lunacy.”
Psychologist, columnist, and parenting authority John Rosemond dubbed Carson the champion of “the Weird and Even Weirder for the Most Bizarre Idea of All Time.”
“Not long ago, anyone floating the idea of parents requesting diaper-change permission from babies would be seen as unhinged by all but themselves,” Rosemond opined in the Reno Gazette Journal. “Paradoxically, Carson’s so-called ‘culture of consent’ risks breeding household confusion, suspicion, rejection, and general chaos.”
Carson’s comments unleashed a torrent of online backlash, with social media ablaze in ridicule of her views and qualifications.
“One thing’s clear: a baby’s wails from a soaked diaper scream consent—in fact, it’s a full-on command,” posted one user.
Another jabbed, “This so-called ‘expert’ urging diaper permission from parents? Screams zero real-world kid experience.”
A third reacted to an X clip: “Gotta ask your cat’s okay for a litter swap? Nope—just swap if it reeks. Babies work the same: wee or poo means change it now!!!” One more warned, “Prolonged time in a filthy diaper counts as abuse by law. Is this crackpot pro-abuse? She’s riskier than anti-vaxxers.”
'Sexuality expert' says parents should ask for baby's consent when changing nappies.
— Sunrise (@sunriseon7) May 10, 2018
Yes, really… pic.twitter.com/iR6wUfP87i
Defenders, meanwhile, rallied behind her motives, conceding the diaper example might miss the mark.
“I’m stunned by the backlash… Infants and toddlers master communication long before words. Props for pushing the convo despite the haters—even if off-base, where’s the downside in modeling respect?” wrote one.
Another observed, “She’s aiming to spark consent talks with kids but overdid it with babies, who can’t consent period. They’re helpless! Parents handle survival basics by default.”
A supporter added, “Totally with Deanne Carson. Chatting up your baby? Piece of cake. Building a consent-friendly home? Even easier.”
As the furor rages on, most concur that attentiveness and interaction with babies carry merit, consent label or not.
In the end, whether to “request” permission boils down to personal parenting vibes and ease. For some, it’s another tool for nurturing respect and affection with their little ones; for others, keen observation and responsive care suffice.
What do you make of Carson’s push for parental diaper-consent chats with babies? Drop your take below and pass this along to spark more voices!