She received overwhelming support for her proposal.
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Mom demands half of husband’s company to stay home with kids
Choosing to have kids is a big decision that can really change your life. Lots of people like to think about what their lives will look like after they have children. This is especially important when considering finances and stability. The thought of starting a family can be really exciting, but it can also feel a little overwhelming when your partner talks about worries, like what if things don’t go as expected or if the baby needs extra care.
Creating a financial plan for your family might not be the most thrilling task, but it’s not as hard as discussing tough topics like divorce or the loss of a partner. Still, these conversations are just as important as deciding how many kids you want, where you want to live, and what values you want to pass on to your children.
A woman posted on Reddit to find out if she was being unreasonable for asking her husband to help her get half of his company. She thought it was really important for her future, especially since he had mentioned that she should be a stay-at-home mom.
A woman and her husband already have kids, and she has always worked while they’ve been raising their family. Now, they are getting ready for their third child, and the woman mentioned that her husband surprised her by suddenly saying she should stay home with the kids.
woman holding baby beside man smilingPhoto by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
I was super bummed about the whole situation, but he explained that it was the best choice for our family and kids since he could give us a great life. After thinking about it for a couple of weeks, I finally agreed to it, but only if I got half of his business, the woman says.
She mentions that his request is because he feels super stressed and anxious about their kids being cared for by “strangers” at daycare. Normally, parents discuss the possibility of one of them staying home with the kids even before they have any, but the person writing on Reddit says that they both love their jobs, so they never considered one of them quitting to stay home. Still, the thought of him wanting half of the company is something he has really thought about a lot.
When women take breaks from their jobs to care for their children, they can run into money problems when they want to return to work. The time they spent away creates a gap in their resume, which can make it tougher for them to advance in their careers. Choosing to stay home can be a risky decision for their financial security, especially if they go through a divorce or if their partner controls the finances.
I mentioned that if I continue to stay at home, my chances of landing a well-paying job would decrease if we ever split up. I would have fewer skills, while he would just keep making more money each year. That’s why I believe I should get half of the company. If we never get divorced, which is what every couple hopes for, then it wouldn’t matter. But if things do go south, it would be fair since I took care of our kids, letting him concentrate on his job without worrying.
@meredyth_with_a_why #stitch with @Ally #tradwife #traditionalwife #sthm #stayathomemom #stayathomewife ♬ original sound – Meredyth Willits
Shelley Correll, a professor at Stanford and the leader of the Stanford VMware Women’s Leadership Innovation Lab, told Forbes, “I really worry about both women and men when it comes to these choices. In my past research, I found that talking about being a parent on a job application can negatively affect mothers but not fathers. But now, new studies show that when fathers show they are dedicated to taking care of their kids, they can face the same disadvantages as mothers, and sometimes it can be even tougher for them.”
Research on the “motherhood penalty” reveals that women frequently experience discrimination in the workplace, which is why she sought equality in her company. However, her closest friend disapproved of her request. Feeling puzzled, she turned to social media to find out if others agreed with her. A lot of people in the comments backed her choice.
You’re not at fault in this situation, and you shouldn’t back down. You have the right to a secure financial future just like he does. If he’s not ready to work with you, it could mean he can’t help you or he’s trying to take charge, which isn’t right. Plus, it might be a good idea to avoid asking your friends for advice on personal issues in your marriage.
I totally agree with what you said. It’s really important to avoid being that woman in her 50s who finds out that waiting tables is her only option because her skills are old and her husband is gone. Feeling trapped in a loveless or even toxic marriage just because you depend on your partner for financial support isn’t a good situation. Also, being a stay-at-home mom and having to ask your husband for money isn’t the best situation either.
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That’s totally true! OP, I was really shocked by how your friends responded to your request. I think it’s awesome that you’re taking charge of your situation. Nobody wants to think about divorce, but it can happen, and it usually hits the stay-at-home parent the hardest since they haven’t been in the workforce for a while. It’s really smart to think ahead for yourself. Like you said, if you never get divorced, which is what you want, then it won’t matter what you have. But if it does happen, you’ll be thankful you prepared so you don’t end up in a small apartment and stuck with a low-paying job. Great job!
The woman’s husband finally decided to give her 49% of the company’s equity. This way, he could still keep the majority control, but she would have a more secure financial future.