Fart Football Joke:
An old couple was getting cozy in bed when the husband suddenly let out a loud fart and shouted, “Seven points!”
His wife, puzzled, turned to him and asked, “What was that for?”
With a cheeky smile, he said, “It’s fart football!”
Not wanting to miss out on the fun, a little while later, the wife let one go and proudly declared, “Touchdown, it’s a tie!”
After a brief moment, the husband let another one rip and exclaimed, “Ha! 14 to 7! I’m in the lead!”
Not to be outdone, the wife responded with another big fart, announcing, “Touchdown again, we’re tied once more!”
Then, with a tiny squeak, she added, “Field goal! I’m ahead, 17 to 14.”
Feeling the heat of competition, the husband didn’t want to lose. He pushed really hard to score again, but he pushed a bit too much and, to his shock, he accidentally pooped in the bed.
His wife, shocked, asked: “What on earth just happened?”
The old man sighed and said: “Half time—time to switch sides.”
BONUS JOKE:
“Dad, what are you saying?” the son shouted into the phone.
“We can’t stand each other anymore,” the father answered. “I can’t look at her, and I’m tired of discussing this. Just call your sister and let her know,” and then he hung up.
Feeling anxious, the son quickly called his sister. She shouted, “No way are they getting divorced!” Without wasting a second, she called their dad.
“You are not getting divorced! Don’t do anything until we get there. We’re flying home tomorrow to sort this out. Until then, don’t contact a lawyer or file any papers. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?” She slammed the phone down hard.
The father turned to his wife and said, “Alright, they’re both coming for Christmas and they’ll pay for their own flights.”