An Australian “sexuality educator” has sparked widespread debate online by proposing that parents should ask their babies for permission before changing their diapers.
Deanne Carson, who advocates for instilling a “culture of consent” from infancy, has left many people puzzled and curious about the practicality of her approach. Some critics have even joked about whether this logic should extend to asking pets for permission to clean their litter boxes.
In today’s rapidly evolving world of parenting methods, the concept of consent is being introduced in unexpected ways—diaper changes included.
While asking a baby for permission to change a dirty diaper may seem impractical, especially since infants lack the ability to respond verbally, Carson argues that it’s not about receiving an explicit answer but rather about laying the groundwork for respect and personal boundaries from the very beginning.
Building a Foundation for Consent
Carson, who describes herself as a “sexuality educator, speaker, and author,” believes that teaching children about consent should begin at birth. She explains that narrating actions—such as saying, “I’m going to change your diaper now, is that okay?”—and pausing to observe the baby’s body language can help introduce them to the idea of bodily autonomy.
The educator emphasizes that this practice isn’t about waiting for a verbal “yes” but rather fostering trust and communication between parent and child.
“Obviously, a baby isn’t going to respond with ‘Yes, mum, I’d love my diaper changed,’” Carson said during an interview with Australia’s ABC network. “But by leaving space, observing body language, and making eye contact, you’re letting the child know their response matters.”
Experts in early childhood development often stress the importance of responding to babies’ non-verbal cues—such as coos, smiles, or movements—as part of healthy communication. Carson’s approach aligns with this idea by involving infants in the process and helping them become aware of what’s happening.
Divided Opinions
Despite Carson’s intentions, her suggestion has faced significant backlash from critics who argue that infants are far too young to grasp the concept of consent.
Rowan Dean, editor of The Spectator Australia, dismissed the idea as “lefty lunacy.” Similarly, psychologist and parenting columnist John Rosemond described Carson’s proposal as one of the most bizarre parenting concepts ever introduced.
“In the past, anyone suggesting parents ask infants for consent to change diapers would have been considered delusional,” Rosemond wrote in the Reno Gazette Journal. He further argued that Carson’s idea could lead to confusion and dysfunction within families rather than fostering healthy relationships.
Online reactions have been equally critical, with many social media users mocking Carson’s idea and questioning her expertise.
One user remarked: “If a baby is crying because they’re uncomfortable in a dirty diaper—that’s consent! In fact, I’d call it a demand.”
Another commented: “A so-called ‘expert’ wants parents to ask permission before changing diapers? Clearly, she has zero experience with kids.”
Others compared her suggestion to asking pets for permission: “Do you need your cat’s consent to clean its litter box? No! If it stinks, clean it. Same goes for babies—if they’ve wet or soiled themselves, just change them!”
Some critics even raised legal concerns: “Leaving a child in a dirty diaper is considered child abuse. Does this person support neglect? She’s more dangerous than anti-vaccine advocates.”
'Sexuality expert' says parents should ask for baby's consent when changing nappies.
— Sunrise (@sunriseon7) May 10, 2018
Yes, really… pic.twitter.com/iR6wUfP87i
Supporters Speak Out
While Carson’s remarks have drawn heavy criticism, some individuals have defended her intentions and highlighted potential benefits of her approach—even if they believe her example was extreme.
One supporter wrote: “I’m shocked by all the negativity. Babies communicate long before they can speak! Thank you for enduring criticism to spark this important dialogue about respect.”
Another commented: “I think she wants to promote conversations about consent among children but undermined her point by taking it too far. Babies can’t consent—they’re babies! Their needs are assumed.”
Others agreed with Carson’s broader message: “It’s easy to talk to your baby while changing them. Creating an environment of respect at home is never a bad thing.”
The Takeaway
While opinions remain divided on whether asking babies for consent during diaper changes is necessary or effective, many agree that mindful communication with infants is valuable—even if it doesn’t strictly involve consent.
Ultimately, whether parents choose to adopt this practice depends on their personal parenting style and comfort level. For some families, asking for consent might be seen as an additional way to nurture trust and respect; for others, simply observing and responding to their baby’s needs may suffice.
What do you think about Deanne Carson’s suggestion? Should parents ask babies for permission before changing diapers? Share your thoughts on this intriguing topic—and don’t forget to pass along this story so we can hear from others!