Many of us know what it feels like to be asked about our thoughts on having kids by others.
In today’s world, there’s this unspoken expectation that you should have a stable job, find a partner, get married, and then start a family. Because of this, couples who choose not to have kids often find themselves needing to explain their choice to others. Some people can be really awkward and ask personal questions that aren’t their place to ask.
These questions can be really intrusive and uncomfortable, especially when someone asks why a couple doesn’t want to be parents.
Sadly, not wanting kids can sometimes be seen as selfish. But when couples who are viewed as “different” want to have kids, suddenly the idea of selfishness seems to change.
Over 20 years ago, Patti White from California got some news that both made her over the moon and concerned. Her daughter Lisa announced that she was pregnant.
Lisa has Down syndrome, which is a condition that affects people in different ways, both physically and mentally. However, many people forget that individuals with Down syndrome can often take care of themselves, hold jobs, and live independently.
It’s important to note that the chances of two people with Down syndrome having a child are lower compared to other couples, mainly because it’s uncommon for a man with Down syndrome to become a father.
When Patti White found out that her daughter Lisa was expecting a grandchild, she was shocked but fully supported Lisa’s choice to have the baby.
At 29, Lisa had her own apartment and worked full-time at a local Goodwill store. She had been living independently for 11 years.
“She got along with everyone. She could do everything except work the cash register. She enjoyed her job, and her coworkers liked her too,” Patti shared with Voice in 2016.
Lisa had also started a relationship with a man with Down syndrome, they dated but lived in separate houses. Patti understood her daughter had a healthy adult relationship – they also discussed things like birth control and safe sex.
Patti recalled a time when all the books claimed that males with Down syndrome couldn’t have kids, and people reassured her that there was nothing to worry about since they couldn’t get anyone pregnant.
But then, life took a surprising turn.
After Patti got back from her lunch break at work, she checked her voicemail and heard a message from a thrilled Lisa:
“Hi Mom, I just wanted to tell you that you’re going to be a GRANDMOTHER!” Patti exclaimed, “I was completely shocked. How could this happen? Her boyfriend has Down syndrome!”
Lisa faced criticism from others who thought her choice to have a baby was careless and selfish, questioning whether she could be a good mom. However, her family stood by her side and supported her completely.
Lisa, who is very articulate and passionate, experienced a typical pregnancy in many ways. She attended childbirth classes, had a pregnancy coach, and dealt with all the usual symptoms.
“It was tough for me to get around while I was pregnant. I was working five days a week, had morning sickness, and just didn’t feel well. I often felt like I was going to throw up,” Lisa shared with Voice.
Lisa’s pregnancy was labeled as high risk, and she received special care because of it. Her son, Nic, arrived four weeks early and, like his parents, was born with Down syndrome.
Nic’s dad was there when he was born, and the couple tried to live together after Nic’s arrival. Sadly, that plan didn’t work out, and Nic’s father passed away when Nic was just 5 years old.
Now 24, Nic is a handsome young man raised by his mom and grandmother, who are incredibly proud of him.
Having kids always comes with risks, and Lisa faced extra challenges, especially since many people had strong opinions about her choice to become a mom.
Some of her friends even stopped talking to her because their parents worried Lisa might influence their daughters to want kids too.
In the end, those opinions don’t matter, especially to Nic, who has done really well for himself. He graduated from college and holds a deep respect for the women who raised him. The person he has become is all thanks to them.
“I have two moms. My mom Lisa is my greatest future in my life. She gave me life and she gave me love and she gave me birth and she is always wonderful and she is beautiful,” he said as per Fabiosa.
In 2016, Patti shared a heartwarming update on Facebook, along with a picture of a proud mom and a happy son:
This is my daughter, Lisa, having fun with her son, Nic. They both have Down Syndrome. This year is really special for us because Lisa is turning 50 and Nic is turning 20. As for me, I feel ancient! I’m so proud of our little family. When Lisa was pregnant, we wanted her to have a strong bond with Nic. There have been lots of good times mixed in with the challenges, and after all these years, we can truly say they’ve beaten the odds and share a deep love for each other and their small family (Lisa is a single mom).
This mother-son duo has spent many years showing everyone how amazing people with Down syndrome can be. Patti, Lisa, and Nic’s story is also really important and could help others make their own choices.
They are an inspiration and deserve our respect and admiration. Please share if you agree.